Birthdays are joyful occasions! They mark dates in which special people came into this world. The best people that one can be associated with are the ones who appreciate funny things, in life. Being able to laugh about situations, even the fact that one is getting older, is a good thing! It is the sign of someone who knows how to handle different occurrences and has a great sense of humor! Of course, teasing should always be handled with care, because you wouldn’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings, let alone on their birthday…
To celebrate the special people you associate with, who know not to take life too seriously, one must send them birthday wishes that are funny. Located here are messages you can send to friends, women, and men that are humorous and commemorate their birthdays in the light-hearted ways that suit their personalities.
Funny Birthday Wishes for Friends
- When I looked at the date, I realized that it was your birthday, friend! When I thought about the year in which you were born, I almost fainted! You don’t look a day over a hundred! Happy Birthday!
- Today, friend, you have made me grateful for something…that I’m not the oldest person here! Happy Birthday!
- Friend on this day, many, many, years ago, you were born! I guess that’s something! Happy Birthday!
- Friend, I hope that a million birthday wishes come true for you! It will match your age! Happy Birthday!
- Friend, if I tried to count up to your age today, I would go hoarse! Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday, friend! You were educated in the old ways! The pyramids wouldn’t have been built without you!
- Happy Birthday to a friend, who is unforgettable! Mainly because you are the grayest one here!
- Friend, before there were maps, people used the stars to guide them. You would know! Happy Birthday!
- Today friend, you should be glad! You can paint on canvas and not in a cave! Happy Birthday!
- On this date friend, you might ache a little more. That is because you are old! Happy Birthday!
- Remembering you today, friend, is easy! The sheer number of your years is astounding! Happy Birthday!
- Friend, calling you young would be a mistake! A HUGE mistake! Happy Birthday!
- Cheers to a friend who can tell me when bread was only five cents! Happy Birthday!
- As your friend, I am here to remind you of significant things! Like always use Bengay! Happy Birthday!
- Friend, some people are obsessed with age! Like me! I can’t believe how old you are! Happy Birthday!
- Today, friend, count your blessings, not your years! You don’t have that kind of time! Happy Birthday!
- Friend you really exemplify a phrase, for me! Long in the tooth, comes to mind! Happy Birthday!
- Now is the time to tell you what you truly are, friend! An old geezer! Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday, friend! Age is not a big deal… to me! I’m still young!
- Happy Birthday, friend! You are as old as you are dear to me!
Funny Birthday Wishes for a Woman
- May your hair dye and mascara never run! Happy Birthday, old lady!
- Cheers to a woman who has been thirty, fifty times! Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday, to an ancient woman! Someday, you will tell me what it was like to build Stonehenge!
- You are no longer a young woman. That’s all I got! Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday! Goodness, woman! You are really old! I mean, really, really…
- When you were born, the sun shone…for the very first time! Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday to the woman who has it all! One hundred years of accumulation would result in that!
- Cheers to a woman who rises above others! In age and amount of wrinkles! Happy Birthday!
- Looking at you fills me with hope! A woman can live to be a hundred! Happy Birthday!
- Now, you can tell me what it’s like to be the oldest woman there is! Happy Birthday!
- Today, avoid all mirrors! You don’t want to see that old lady! Happy Birthday!
- Cheers to a woman who has dyed her gray hair so many times, she doesn’t remember what its original color is! Happy Birthday!
- Here is to all the years that you have been alive, and the many candles we wouldn’t dare put on your cake! Happy Birthday, woman!
- There is something that makes you stand out, woman! I know what it is: your age! Happy Birthday!
- Today, girl, there are things to marvel at! Like the length of time that you have been here! Happy Birthday!
- You are a woman whose very presence makes others happy! Thanks for reminding us that we’re not as old as you! Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday, woman! Sometimes, I feel like you have been around, forever! (That’s because you have!)
- Looking at you, woman, reminds me of a simpler time. Like, before there was electricity! Happy Birthday!
- Cheers to a woman who stays young! (Only because she lies about her age) Happy Birthday!
Funny Birthday Wishes for a Man
- Cheers to an old man who still thinks he is young! Call it “experience” and enjoy your birthday, anyway!
- Here is to another year of a receding hairline and holding in that gut! Happy Birthday!
- Since the dawn of time, you have been here! Today, is no different! Happy Birthday!
- Your beard may be gray, your wrinkles may be deep, but hey, at least there is cake! Happy Birthday!
- Here is hoping that toupee and girdle works out for you! Happy Birthday, old man!
- A man like you deserves to have fond memories of his childhood, recalled to him. Unfortunately, there are no more dinosaurs! Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday, to a man who has witnessed great things! Invention of the wheel, the first cave drawing…
- Today, you have officially gotten past things! Like youth and hair that isn’t gray! Happy Birthday, man!
- Today, reflect on the fact that you have been here from the beginning! I mean, the very beginning! Happy Birthday, man!
- On this day, some people will tell you that you are still a young man. Those people are liars! Happy Birthday!
- Man, you are like a tree in the woods! Old and still managing to stay grounded! Happy Birthday!
- Today is a day to ask important questions! Like, why are you so old? Happy Birthday!
- Cheers to a man who thinks he is still thinks he is young, but isn’t! You have really embraced delusion! Happy Birthday!
- As your birthday approaches, you might dread becoming an old man. Don’t worry about that! You already are!
- Today, you have really achieved something! How does it feel to be the oldest man alive? Happy Birthday!
- If someone doesn’t acknowledge your age, then that person is not really looking at you! Happy Birthday, man!
- Happy Birthday, to a man who is old and gray! So old and so gray!
- Someday, you will tell me how you survived the dinosaurs! Happy Birthday, man!
- Happy Birthday, man! Remember nothing is promised! Like the amount of aches that you will get!
Hilarious Birthday Messages for your Sister
- Do you know the similarity between you and a cow? Well, just the face. Happy birthday, dear sister. May you moo till the end of times.
- I thought of doing some charity today, and you are the nearest mentally-ill person I could find. So, happy birthday, sweet sister! Now keep smiling like you are doing right now.
- You are very gifted person; in a race of two people, you would always be the first runner up. So, a very happy birthday to you, sis. May your talents keep shining like this always.
- I have always said you were ‘special’, because the term ‘retards’ is politically incorrect. But anyway, I love the way you are. Happy birthday, little sister.
Funny Birthday Messages for your Brother
- This is one of the few days when you can come out of the jungle and act like humans. To celebrate that, I wish you a very happy birthday.
- I am happy for you today, even though you are adopted and were found in a bin. Wishing you a very happy and prosperous birthday, bro.
- A wise man said “we hurt only those who we love”. This is probably why I beat you all the times. Happy birthday, brother. May your bones heal soon.
- It really doesn’t matter that you are ugly, stupid and useless. For me, you will always be family. Happy birthday, brother.
Funny Birthday Wishes for your Husband
- My dear husband, science says that women live longer than men. Since you have lesser birthdays than me, I hope to make each one of them special. Happy birthday, darling.
- Despite the numerous times you forgot to wish me on my birthday, I have a kind heart and pure soul. So being gracious enough, I wish you a very happy birthday. May God bless you with a better memory.
- During our marriage, you promised that we will share everything with me. So I bought you an expensive makeup kit, which you can later share with me. Happy birthday, my love.
- You have always been the best husband ever. Apart from the fact you are ungrateful, careless, lazy, pompous, dim-witted and too short. Apart from that, you are just perfect. Happy birthday, honey.
Funny Birthday Wishes for your Wife
- So, today is the day you get one more year older. Shouldn’t it be the right time to finally tell me your exact age? Anyway, happy birthday, my love. May you remain this beautiful forever.
- You keep getting more beautiful with each year passing. For this, I have to give my gratitude to your beautician. Happy birthday, darling. May the cosmetics be with you.
- Wishing a very happy birthday to the women who taught me to say “sorry” without any apparent reason. Stay the way you are (or maybe, be a little less like a Ninja Turtle, if possible).
- Today is your special day. I do not want to ruin it by telling you that your food is overcooked and lacks taste, or that you create more mess than I did when I was 5 years old. So, I would simply like to tell you that you are an amazing wife. Happy birthday, my love.
Funny Birthday Messages for your Mom
- Hey, mother. Even though I have always criticized your food, the shit that they serve at the mess made me realize that your hand was pure gold. May you live forever and continue to make that delicious food for me. Happy birthday.
- Every time you threw a sandal/slipper at me, it only helped to keep me in line and make me a better human being. For that alone, I will be forever grateful to you.Happy birthday, ma. May you live a long, long life.
- I used to thing that mothers are the jailors for who have yet not had the chance to visit the jail. Now that I am an adult and have to wash my own clothes, I realize that mothers are simply the gifts for those who are too incapable to take care of themselves. Wishing you a very happy birthday, mom.
- Remember the time when I used to wish that you get swapped by my best friend’s mom? Well, not saying that his mom is any less, but I have grown rather fond of you, so stay where you are. Happy birthday, mother. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Funny Birthday Quotes for your Dad
- Happy birthday, dad. I simply can’t believe that it has been only 30 years since you were 18! May you look this young forever.
- Have you heard of the phrase “Wiser with age”? Because I really doubt that you have (just kidding, don’t slap me). Happy birthday, dear father. May you continue to be this awesome forever.
- I wish you keep smiling and showing your teeth like this forever (or as long as you actually have teeth). Wishing you a very happy birthday, dad.
- Just FYI, my gift to you would be the hell lot of candles I had to buy to match your age. Apart from that, wish you a very happy and prosperous birthday, daddy.
Funny Birthday Wishes for your Boyfriend
- Hey, honey: I know you birthday is almost over, but this is what you get for forgetting my birthday. I guess you have learnt your lesson now. Happy birthday, my love.
- Remember how you told me that you want a Rolex watch as your birthday present? Well, I realized that it was stupid, so you are getting nothing. Wish you a very happy birthday, baby.
- It is wonderful how you look younger with every year passing. Soon, I might go to jail for dating a teenager. Happy birthday, sweetheart. May you stay young in your heart.
Funny Birthday Wishes for your Girlfriend
- Remember the time I said birthdays are for kids? Well, Happy birthday, my love. Hope you continue to spread that glorious smile of yours to everyone around you, even if that seriously tires your jaw.
- Happy birthday, baby. And I seriously believe that you should tell me your age, because every time I try to guess it, my calculations land you under 18 and me under arrest. Apart from that, enjoy your special day.
- There is not nearly enough times when I have told you how beautiful , caring and amazing you are. Do not listen to the people who say I am compulsive liar, they are just jealous that I have you. Happy birthday, baby.
Q&A Birthday Jokes
Q: Do you by any chance know what constantly goes up, but never ever comes down?
A: Your ever-growing age!
Q: What does the average cat love to eat at her birthday party?
A: Mice cream.
Q: What do Jesus Christ and Abraham Lincoln both have in common?
A: They were both born on public holidays.
Q: What do people who have the most birthdays have in common?
A: Old age.
Q: Why did couples have problems with each other before the 2000s?
A: Because Facebook reminder didn’t exist at that time to remind them of their partners’ birthdays.
Q: What happened to all the guests at Kim Jong-un’s birthday party bash?
A: Kim nuked them all so he wouldn’t share his cake with anyone!
Q: What do chickens love to eat at their birthday parties?
Q: Where can you find the best birthday present for your cat?
A: Inside a cat-alogue!
Q: What kills a person faster than cancer?
A: Too many birthdays!
Q: What type of cake was served at the birthday party of Penny from the Big Bang Theory?
A: Cheese cake.
Q: What type of cake do the people of North Korea serve at their birthday parties?
A: Cakes decorated with Kim Jong-un’s face.
Q: What gift do you always receive on your birthday?
A: A brand new age.
You Know You’re Old when…
- …the numerous candles on your birthday cake not only become more expensive than your cake itself, but also negatively impact the environment.
- …kids feel safe to tell you their secrets because they know you will end up forgetting them.
- …a teenager refers to you as a middle-aged man/woman.
- …your mates start having children on purpose and not accidentally.
- …people assume the first pet you ever owned was a dinosaur.
- …your favorite songs are now elevator music.
- …you see a smoking hot chick in bikini and the first thought that crosses your mind is, “I hope she’s wearing sun block”.
- …all your favorite sportsmen and women have retired.
- …it takes forever to scroll down to choose your year of birth on a website.
- …the candles on your cake create a bonfire.
- …your mates start running for president and other public offices.
- …the once adorable Karate Kid is now an old man.
- …you start feeling sleepy at the same time you used to go out at night to have fun.
- …your fridge consists of more food than beer.
- …teenagers start mistaking you for the legendary Keith Richards.
- …that adorable kid you used to baby sit is no longer a kid.
- …a Donna Summer song brings back a lot of memories.
- …you can be slapped with the death penalty.
- …prefer eating in than eating out.
- …you fall down and die when someone tells you to act your age.
- …you feel there’s nothing left in life to learn.
- …in your childhood, Blackberry and Apple were nothing more than fruits.
- …you start worrying about how you’ll pay your mortgage.
- …acne problems are a thing of the past.
- …birthdays remind you something to be forgotten.
- …you lie about your age or are tempted to do so.
- …your patronage of condoms begins to drastically decline.
- …you start finding teenagers’ birthday parties annoying and repulsive.
- …your loved ones keep telling you how young you look.
- …hostage takers are not interested in taking you hostage.
- …your friends pay firefighters to be on standby for your birthday bash because they are afraid your birthday candles might cause a disaster.
- …you witnessed people getting burnt alive at the stake.
- …you search everywhere for your reading glasses when it is on your head.
- …if you have ever attended a Beatles concert.
- …marketers start targeting you with anti-aging wrinkle creams.
- …you can date someone half your age without breaking any man-made laws.
- …your neighbors don’t even know it when you organize a party.
- …your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them or have died.
- …you finally know where your prostrate is located.
- …you once used telegraphs to send messages to your loved ones in faraway places.
Funny to Celebrate My Special Day | Short Jokes about your own Birthday
- It is my birthday and I have no doubt in my mind that this is nature’s way of telling me to eat more cakes!
- I guess this is the year I should start lying about my age. Happy birthday to me!
- Wishing myself a super duper birthday! I hope my friends remember my birthday and not my age.
- At this age, I don’t need to worry much about temptation because it is no longer interested in me.
- Blowing out the candles on my birthday cake was indeed one heck of a good exercise for my lungs.
- Today I understand why the word “birthday” ends with the letter Y!
- They say the good die young. If that is true, then I must be a really bad a**. Happy birthday to me!
- Today is my birthday and I’m another year closer to my death yet my family and friends are happy for me. What a terribly strange world we live in.
- Few years ago, I fell down on the street and people laughed at me. However, today I fell and everyone was in a state of panic. I guess this means I’ve become an Old Timer. Happy birthday to me.
- Today is my Big Day, and I’m proud to announce to the world that I don’t look a day over my actual age. Isn’t that awesome?!
- On my birthday, I plead with all my friends who really love me to refrain from making any age-related jokes.
- I am officially a year older today and I’m not bothered at all about that because I know my age is just the number of years that I have been a blessing to this world.
- On my Big Day, I’m going to party in such a wild manner that many religions will waste no time condemning me straight to hell.
- It is my birthday today, and I have every right to support wildlife by organizing a wild party.
Funny Birthday Wishes for all
- Happy Birthday! I believe you are officially able to be appraised on Antique Roadshow!
- Happy Birthday to you. I hope you enjoy your day as much as I’ll enjoy eating free cake and ice cream.
- Your birthday only comes once a year but the wrinkles it brings will last a lifetime.
- If you were a dog…you’d be 7 times older than you are now! Think about it. Happy Birthday, Old Yeller!
- That’s your birthday cake?! I thought we were having a bonfire in the middle of your dining room. Happy Birthday… should I call and cancel the fire department then?
- Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Facebook told me it was your birthday and that I should write on your wall.
- Happy Birthday from one of the most spectacular, sensational, intelligent people you know. You are one-in-a-million.
- Happy Birthday! I hope your husband treats you to a night out on the town–so you can enjoy having the house to yourself!
- Happy Birthday to someone who knows everything there is about me and STILL enjoys being my friend. I hope we have many more years of wild and crazy adventures together.
- Did you know Chuck Norris was born on your birthday? Just kidding. That would be pretty kick butt though wouldn’t it? Your birthday is still on a pretty good day.
- Happy Birthday! I would say you don’t look another year older but if I tell one lie now it might make anything else I say later on unbelievable. You look pretty good for your age!
- If you were a grape I would stomp on you and make you into a delicious vintage wine. Happy Birthday, Friend!
- The best part of birthday is the birthday cake. Happy Birthday. Where’s the cake?
- Happy Birthday to a friend who I wouldn’t trade for all the Nutella in the world.
- I couldn’t fit Channing Tatum in the box but I hope this gift will do. Happy Birthday to the future Mrs. Channing Tatum.
- So I was watching Jurassic Park and I remembered it was your birthday. Happy Birthday, you old dinosaur!
- I was watching Grumpier Old Men and I remembered it was your birthday. I hope we get put in the same room at our future nursing home. We would make some kick butt BINGO partners! We would clean up! Happy Birthday!
- I have a particular set of skills. Skills that I have learned over a lengthy friendship with you. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you give me a piece of cake, I will leave. If you don’t, I will find your cake and I will blow out your candles. Happy Birthday.
- Happy Birthday, my friend! I’m looking forward to getting together with you tonight to go over all of your Facebook birthday wishes from people that don’t give a rats behind about you the rest of the year.
- On Wednesdays we wear pink. Happy Birthday my totally fetch friend!
- I’ll tell you a secret. I do believe it’s somebody’s birthday and just in case that person is you, Happy Birthday.
- Happy Birthday to someone who remembers how to do the ‘Macarena’.
- Stop crying. This is supposed to be a joyous occasion where we fill up on divine birthday cake and drink good cheer. Celebrate in merriment the day of your birth into this lustrous world. Forget the wrinkles, sore joints, forgetfulness, and gray hair. Happiest of Happy Birthday to you, dear friend!
- If someone asks if you’re a God, you say ‘YES!’ . If you don’t Mr. Stay Puft will wreck havoc on our town. That was life lesson #1, right? Happy Birthday to a friend who is fluent in movie quotes just like me.
- Happy Birthday to someone good looking, super smart, charismatic, and charming. Wait…I meant FROM someone.
- Happy Birthday. You’re not THAT old. You’re just getting up there. In the words of Elsa, “Let it go! Let it go!”
- Your 21st Birthday party was SO successful you decided to celebrate it for more than 20 years in a row!
- I was thinking about it and I think if someone was to make a movie about your life, Linda Blair would be perfect to play you. Happy Birthday!
- You know that old sang the older you are the wiser you are? I used to think it was true but then I met you! Just kidding, friend. Happy Birthday to you.
- I was at the antique store downtown and I ran across one of the toys from your childhood that you always talk about. Happy Birthday and Congratulations to someone who is old enough to have their childhood toys listed in the latest edition of the Kovel’s Antique Guide! Well done!
- When you get to be your age you really should just throw caution to the wind and go ‘Why the hell not?!”. You only live once! Go skydiving! Go skinny dipping in Tahiti! Go for a leisurely stroll up Mt. Everest.
- Happy Birthday to someone who is getting more valuable and better with age! Oh wait–that’s wine. Happy Birthday to someone who is just getting old!
- Just to let you know that getting older doesn’t necessarily mean you have to grow up. You can always be a ‘Toys R’ Us’ kid who wears scrunchy socks, jelly shoes, and drives a Big Wheel.
- Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! You act like a monkey and you smell like a mountain goat. I think that means you belong in a zoo!
- Happy Birthday to someone I am proud to say will ALWAYS be older than me. I love having you as my friend, even if it is only to make myself feel better about my age.
- Happy Birthday! I know you’re not thirty, flirty, and thriving but hey you’re still driving! You’re not in too bad of shape.
Once you have come up with the perfect birthday greeting for your friend, it is time to figure out how to send it. Written birthday cards are becoming a thing of the past but they seem to be more appreciated because of the care and time it takes to write out the card. Email and text message birthday greetings are perfectly acceptable, however, less personal. They are fast and easy to type and send. If you remember a birthday and are in the middle of a busy day it might be good to quickly send out a quick email or text so that you have your bases covered if you forget to call or send a handwritten greeting later on.