40 Funny Birthday Wishes for my Best Friend

If you want to use the opportunity your friend’s birthday presents to let him/her know you are thinking of him/her as well as get in a few rib crackers, you’ve navigated to the right place!

Here we have some truly funny wishes you can share with your best buddy on the occasion of his/her birthday.

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  • Your birthday is such a special occasion that I wish I could wrap myself up and give myself to you as a gift.
  • Every one of your birthdays is a special once in a lifetime experience, but I always wake up the next day too drunk to remember them.
  • Many happy returns! May you receive one extra year added to your life for every pound you gain.
  • On the day you were born, if your mother had set you adrift in a basket to escape the wrath of pharaoh, it would have sunk from the excessive weight.
  • You possess the qualities of a President – the looks of George Bush, the intelligence of Barack Obama and the disciple of Bill Clinton – so let me use the occasion of your birthday to wish that you make the most of out our your life!
  • On your birthday, to ensure you have many more, I’ve gotten you a designated driver. Cheers!
  • For your Big Day, they should just create a cake with a liquor bottle inside.
  • May you grow old and rich, so that you can leave me a big inheritance.
  • I love you so much that if I had a job I would have bought you a gift.
Happy Birthday. Today is all about you, honest!
Happy Birthday. Today is all about you, honest!
  • May this gift serve as an eternal reminder of our friendship because it’ll probably be the last one I ever buy.
  • Happy birthday, my dear. May your bank account grow so fast that you get audited by the IRS.
  • On your special day, may you be blessed with the problems of the rich – such as where to park your yacht.
  • May your body grow so old that people mistake you for a piece of wood. Birthday greetings, best friend!
  • Happy birthday to my beloved friend. I couldn’t have asked the casting director of life to give me a better sidekick.
  • May life compensate you like Floyd Mayweather for the many battles you have fought.
  • I thought about moving out of your house as you continue to grow old, but by the looks of things, you probably need me now more than ever.
  • If life were a sports league you would be MVP. Happy birthday and many more, dear friend.
  • Buddy, even though you were born with no exceptional talent, marketable skill or extraordinary intelligence, I still believe that life has nothing but the best in store for you.
  • Every day that I go to the gym, I use you as an inspiration – of what I would become if I let myself slack off. Best birthday wishes, best bud!
Party hard, honey!
Party hard, honey!
  • You are such a special person that when you’re about to die I hope they freeze your brain so that it can be implanted in a robot a thousand years from now.
  • As men, it’s not appropriate for us to shed tears when exchanging gifts on special occasions, but the one I’m giving you today cost me so much that I have to cry.
  • We could use the occasion of your birthday to party our fat asses off like we always do. However, this year I want you to use this time to reflect on the finer things in life, and when I return from the club you can tell me all about them.
  • As you grow older and wiser, may you also become senile and forget about the money I’m owing you.
  • Today would have been the perfect occasion to write sweet words about the greatest, most spectacular, uniquely exquisite friend in the world, but I already finished my autobiography a month ago.
  • If life were a game of soccer, I would be the multi-million dollar striker and you would be the faithful water boy I wave to at the end of every big game. Wish you the best, sweet friend!
  • Wrapping myself up and gifting myself to you as a birthday present would make me seem vain, so I decided to present you with my life-sized portrait instead.
  • As you grow into manhood, may life bless you with children who love you just as much as you love making them!
Pout like your life depended on it. Happy Birthday, girl!
Pout like your life depended on it. Happy Birthday, girl!
  • Life without you is like a sitcom with no laugh track. Happy birthday, my beloved buddy.
  • May you age with the wisdom and strength of a Chinese kung-fu master.
  • You’re a shining example of what it means to still enjoy life even when logic dictates that you’re too old to.
  • In these coming years, may life bless you with so much prosperity that everything you touch turns to gold. May life also bless you with the grace to leave me, your best friend, all of your possessions once you die from starvation.
  • On this great day, may God bless you with booze made of water from the fountain of youth so that you’ll never age. Have a great one.
  • May an extra day be added to your life for every strand of hair that falls from your head.
  • Last year when I wished you old age, I didn’t know it would happen so fast! Forgive me.
  • Sometimes people say I must be gay for having a best friend who is also a female, but they don’t know you the way I do.
  • Best wishes! May you grow so old that all of your best friends are replaced by robots.
  • As the years progress, I learn each day to appreciate the simple things more and more, which is why we’re closer now than ever before.
  • If Thanksgiving is symbolized by turkeys and Easter by rabbits, then the official animal of your birthday should be the tortoise. Happy birthday, my extremely old fart of a friend!

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